This is a great question, one that really got me digging deep inside. Marcia, you want personal, deep down, honest, truth, well you got it. “What was I thinking?”
This is my first year of college. I have been out of school a really long time, over 18 years. I was a stay at home mom for right around 15 years; I went back to work 3 years ago to let my husband start his own business. That worked out great for us, he was still able to keep the younger kids with him most of the time.
We decided in January of 2006 that we should go back to school. There were a couple of reasons why; we didn’t want our oldest daughter to approach us in a couple of years, when she should be thinking about going to college, to tell us that she doesn’t think a college education is important. How can we argue the importance of a college education, if we don’t have one?
Also, we want to earn our various degrees’ to benefit our family in the near future. We went through each process together; from filling out the FAFSA all the way to getting our Student ID cards. Before the semester started we began really asking ourselves, “What the heck are we doing?” We knew that both of us working and going to school full time was going to be a bit difficult. Oh ya, and throw in the fact that there are three kids that depend on us. Each one of them is at completely different place in their lives.
Did I make the right decision to come back to school full time at this stage in my life? My dilemma lies here; while working my 40 hours a week (add in another five hours of driving each week) and coming to school for 12 hours of class a week, how can I find the time for homework? Obviously spending time with Jon and our children is my number one priority, but honestly, some days it is harder than others to give each one equal time. I find myself putting off the homework until the very last minute. What else do I do?
I think the hardest part for me, is when; my four year old Kassidy stands on the front porch crying out for me to stay home as I get in the car to drive to work, or when I haven’t heard my eight year old Karly read to me and when my 16 year old told me she had been asked to the Homecoming dance and I was on automatic pilot, not listening and said, “ya, that’s neat” as I was walking down the hall. Then it hit me and I went running back to the kitchen and said, “Wow! You did? That is so cool. What are you going to wear? ” But, I could see that I had already hurt her feelings. Ouch!
I hope that I can resolve this soon. It’s getting pretty difficult staying up until the wee hours of the morning, just to get up and start it all over again.
That is what keeps me up at night when I should be sleeping.
daisykaye 
I can really relate to you. A lot of same things ran through my mind before starting the semester. As I started school I was really overwelmed at the high expectations that was required of you. It’s hard to balance your new scheduled life. There has been many nights I’m up at night thinking did I really do a good thing or did I make a huge mistake.
i really enjoyed this entry. coming from the perspective of your children, seeing as how i’m much closer to their ages, i can understand and relate to the situation you’re going through. my dad quit his job last september and started his own businsess. in the beginning it was SO hard on our family because it required both of my parents to be gone all the time… i have four younger sisters and the youngest is only two so that meant a lot of work on my part. i can remember so many instances like your story of your daughter and homecoming, where i’d wait all day to tell my mom something like i’d been asked to the dance, or this really cute guy asked me out:) and all she’d have to say is “that’s neat.” but, at the same time, seeing how hard my parents were working, was a huge eye opener for me. it took a while, but i was brought to a realization of just how much they did for me, and also what it meant to work hard. if you want something, you have to be willing to work for it. my mom’s told me that a million times, if you want something bad enough, you’ll be willing to work harder than you ever have and give everything to have it. my parents show that through their lives, and their example of hard work has helped me as i’m “growing up” and out on my own. i could also see that as i read your entry. it is so amazing that you would go back to school, and part of your reason is to encourage your children to attend college. both of my parents went, and that has been a HUGE encouragement to me as i’m going. thank you. that was a great entry.
I thought i had it tuff with only one kid. Although it sounds like you are in a “FUN” situation, it also looks as though you have a good game plan. I admire yours and your husbands reason to go back to school, so that your children will be motivated.
Amen, sister.